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“We repeat what we don’t repair.”
When it comes to your romantic relationship, do you feel frustrated, uncertain, or stuck? You’re not alone.
You might feel like you’ve tried just about everything to solve the problems in your relationship. The continuous conflict and tension are exhausting, leaving you feeling hopeless. Perhaps the passion in your relationship has been lost over time. Or you have noticed that the frequency or intensity of your fights have increased. One or both of you may be feeling unconfident about the future of your relationship.
Whether your relationship is new, established, or decades in the making, all couples encounter challenges. During times of conflict, communication between partners often breaks down and becomes dysfunctional. Repetitive arguments and/or stonewalling can make you feel like there’s no winning. This can affect several areas of a relationship, such as intimacy, commitment, passion, and empathy.
On top of conflict between you both, stressors from the outside world often impact how couples communicate and bond. You may be juggling work, raising a family, social commitments, and your individual needs. Especially in the hustle-and-bustle world of the Tri-State area, this leaves you feeling as though there is no time or energy to work on your relationship.
The good news is that change in your relationship doesn’t have to take up all your time or energy.
Small changes can make a big impact…
The idea that change requires immense energy or time is a myth! Couples therapy at MCC works from a systemic perspective, meaning that we focus on the complex interconnections in your relationship. Rather than determining cause and effect, we work to learn more about the actions and reactions that make up the patterns in your relationship. More likely than not, these patterns are keeping you both stuck. Using the systemic approach, we find small ways to change the patterns in your relationship.
As you and your partner find new ways to communicate and connect, other parts of your relationship will begin to change, too. Dysfunctional patterns that were keeping you stuck can be replaced by healthier, more productive patterns of interaction.
Focusing on solutions
Beyond the systemic approach used at MCC, our therapy is also solution-focused. Lauren’s solution-focused approach generally involves:
1. Examining past and present patterns in your relationship.
2. Focusing on the changes you both would like to see.
3. Creating practical solutions that manifest change.
4. Solidifying solutions for long-term stability.
Throughout the process you will have the opportunity to gain insights, learn techniques, and strengthen your relationship skills.
MCC also offers services to couples who are looking for a healthy separation or divorce. Read more about healthy separation services on our Couples FAQ blog.
Contact me to learn more about services for couples or for a complementary phone consultation.