Perinatal Mental Health: Support Through Pregnancy
The Vulnerability of New Motherhood
Emotions Are More Intense
Pregnancy is often painted as a season of glowing skin, excitement, and joyful anticipation. And sometimes, it can be those things. But it can also feel like your body, emotions, and entire life have been thrown into a blender. The truth is—pregnancy is as complex as the humans experiencing it.
You deserve a space where you can talk about the real parts of this journey—without judgment, without being told what a “blessing” this is, and without the pressure to always feel overjoyed about what’s happening.
Walking Through Pregnancy
We know the path to motherhood isn’t always straightforward. You may be:
- Navigating hormonal and emotional changes during pregnancy
- Facing the uncertainty and stress of pregnancy after infertility
- Grieving after miscarriage, stillbirth, or the loss of other important people in your life
Without help, these experiences can leave you feeling stuck in cycles of anxiety, sadness, or self-blame. But with the right care, you can heal, grow, and find your footing again.
Pregnancy Hormones & Constantly Changing Emotions
Your emotions may feel bigger, sharper, and more unpredictable than ever before. It’s not just you. One minute you’re laughing at baby name lists, the next you’re sobbing because the dishwasher broke. You might notice yourself saying things like:
- “Why am I so anxious all the time? I should be happy.”
- “My body feels like it’s not mine anymore.”
- “I’m so tired, but I feel guilty for complaining when I know others wish they were pregnant.”
- “I wanted this so badly, and now I hate it.”
- “I’m not sure that I ever want to do this again.”
Did you know that anxiety and depression can surface during pregnancy, not just afterward? Racing thoughts, intrusive worries, irritability, sadness, or feeling unlike yourself—these are not personal failings. They are common, human responses to one of life’s biggest transitions.
The Weight of Societal Pressure
The pressure doesn’t stop once you see those two pink lines. Baby product ads, endless lists of “must-haves,” and parenting advice are everywhere. Instead of feeling excited while shopping, many parents-to-be feel suffocated—terrified they’ll screw up their baby without buying the “right” things.
And then comes the unsolicited advice. Strangers urge you to “rest before the baby comes,” as if nausea, heartburn, congestion, and insomnia weren’t already stealing every ounce of rest you have. Others joke, “Say goodbye to sleep for the next 18 years,” as if you weren’t already dreading the exhaustion of new parenthood. It can feel overwhelming, invalidating, and lonely.
The Burden of Pregnancy Anxiety
Pregnancy often comes with a constant hum of “what ifs.”
- “What if something happens during the delivery?”
- “What if my baby isn’t healthy?”
- “What if I’m not cut out to be a parent?”
These worries can become consuming, especially when paired with the very real physical challenges of nausea, fatigue, pain, or complications. Add in the financial stress of preparing for a child, navigating healthcare, or the strain of balancing work—and it’s no wonder your mind feels overloaded.
Shifting Relationships and Identity
Pregnancy changes your body, and it reshapes your entire identity. You may feel detached from the version of yourself you once knew, questioning who you’ll be once your baby arrives.
Relationships also shift. You and your partner may disagree on parenting approaches, family members may offer unwanted opinions, and extended family dynamics can stir up old wounds. It’s common to feel tension, loneliness, or even resentment while everyone around you seems to expect pure joy.
Pregnancy After Infertility: When Being Happy Feels Impossible
When you’ve walked the long, painful road of infertility, that positive pregnancy test doesn’t always bring the rush of joy people imagine. For many, it’s not fireworks and happy tears—it’s hesitation. Relief, yes. Gratitude, absolutely. But often tangled with a deep, gnawing fear: what if this gets taken away too?
Pregnancy after infertility can feel robbed of innocence. Where others post ultrasound photos with unshaken excitement, you may find yourself holding back, almost afraid to “jinx it.” Your mind drifts toward worst-case scenarios:
- What if the heartbeat stops?
- What if I miscarry?
- What if I let myself fall in love with this baby, only to lose them?
That constant hum of worry can shape the entire pregnancy. Doctor’s appointments may not bring reassurance. They may only spike your anxiety as you wait for bad news. Every cramp or unusual symptom feels like a warning sign. Instead of leaning into joy, you brace yourself for loss.
This fear makes it hard to connect with your baby. You might avoid talking to your belly or looking at baby clothes, telling yourself you’ll wait “until it feels safe.” But months can go by, and it never feels safe. That distance is a kind of armor—a way to protect your heart in case things don’t turn out the way you’ve hoped.
Layered on top of all of this, there’s guilt. Guilt for not feeling the joy you “should” after fighting so hard to get here. Guilt for resenting the anxiety when you know how badly you wanted this. Guilt for whispering, I wanted this so much—why does it feel so heavy?
But here’s the truth: pregnancy after infertility is its own unique journey. It carries invisible scars. It’s common to feel both grateful and afraid, hopeful and guarded, excited and numb—all at once.
A Grounding Presence in This Season
You don’t have to carry this season alone. Think of it this way: pregnancy and postpartum are some of the most tender, stretching, and transforming chapters of life. Support isn’t just a “nice to have,” it’s a lifeline. It can make such a difference—sometimes it’s a partner who rubs your back, a friend who checks in with a text, or a family member who brings over dinner when you’re too tired to cook. Those little acts of care matter so much.
And beyond the circle of loved ones, there’s also a type of support many people don’t realize exists: perinatal therapy. Just like you might see a doctor who specializes in pregnancy, there are therapists who specialize in the emotional and mental shifts that come with this time. They get the highs, the lows, the “what ifs” at 2 a.m., and even the moments you don’t quite recognize yourself. A perinatal therapist is someone who can sit with you in all of that—helping you sort through the big feelings, offering tools that actually fit this stage, and reminding you (again and again if needed) that you’re not in this on your own.
Perinatal therapy offers a steady hand in the middle of the storm. In our work together, we can help you:
- Cope with intense emotions, intrusive thoughts, and mood swings.
- Process grief after miscarriage, stillbirth, or infertility struggles.
- Navigate the fears and uncertainty of an unplanned pregnancy.
- Manage anxiety related to childbirth and your baby’s health.
- Talk openly with your partner about parenting differences before the baby arrives.
- Find practical ways to manage stress around finances, work, or changing family roles.
- Create space to honor the physical toll of pregnancy—nausea, fatigue, pain—without dismissing it.
- Reconnect with your evolving identity and discover who you’re becoming through this journey.
Therapy doesn’t erase the challenges of pregnancy, but it can help you feel less alone, more grounded, and more compassionate toward yourself. Together, we’ll work to untangle the noise, give space to your fears and hopes, and help you build the support you deserve.
Because Your Needs Count
Pregnancy is not just about preparing for a baby—it’s also about taking care of you. By tending to your mental health now, you lay the foundation for a steadier transition into parenthood and a healthier bond with your child.
You don’t have to wait until things get unbearable to reach out. Support is here for you, in this season, exactly as you are.
Virtual Wellness Counseling During Pregnancy
Pregnancy is exhausting, and the last thing you need is another place to drive to. Our online therapy allows you to connect with a specialized perinatal therapist from wherever you feel most comfortable. Through secure video sessions, you can openly discuss pregnancy anxiety, hormonal changes, and relationship shifts—all without leaving home. Online therapy provides the flexibility and support you need during this demanding time, meeting you exactly where you are. To get support from a therapist in NJ, follow these steps:
- Read our FAQs about therapy.
- Fill out a request form on our contact page to schedule a therapy appointment.
- One of our compassionate team members will contact you within 1 business day (excluding holidays) for a phone consultation. The initial phone consultation is complimentary and helps us learn more about how we can help.
- During the initial phone consultation, our compassionate team member will ask about what you’ve been struggling with, or what you hope to achieve in therapy. We will share information about each of our therapists, including their specialties and availability.
- If we’re a good fit for your needs, we match you with one of our in person or online New Jersey therapists. If either of us feel we are not the right fit, we can provide the names of other providers who may be able to help.